Call My Name
by AA-Tenks
Summary: "Your name never comes up!" Callie told him. They were simple words... and quite honestly, he should have been relieved. But he wasn't. He wished his name would come up.


Takes place during 9x04, after Callie tells Alex that his name never comes up.

* * *

_Your name never comes up!_

He strutted down the hall, the words echoing in his ears. It seemed to be resounding in his head all day. He couldn't concentrate without remembering what Callie told him.

He caught her, hadn't he? When she was about to fall, he caught her. It was a quick moment, but it stood, replaying in his mind. He moved instinctively to collect the falling blonde under his arms. His once vigorous, hardcore, perky mentor - who always seemed to catch him when he was falling. The one who worried about him when he felt that no one else had. She reluctantly told him that she was concerned.

Now, he was concerned. But, no, his name never came up. Even though she had inquired about her department, _their_ department.

Yet, his name never came up.

Not once.

Alex Karev stood the door of his patient's room, reflecting on Callie's words.

Surely his name came up?

He should be blamed too. Why would Callie not tell Arizona that he also was to blame? He wasn't on the plane when he should have been, he was the one who cut off her leg.

He should be blamed. He should also be considered.

But what was it that that he really wanted? Recognition? Consideration?

It wasn't blame. She already blamed him, and like an afterthought, she found someone even guiltier. But now she was emerging from the resentment, she was trying to stand up again, to become something better than who she was after that plane crash.

She was trying.  
So was Callie.

Maybe it _was_ the blame he wanted. _Your name never comes up!_ That's right, that's what bothered him. If it could have been blame, it would have been alright. As long as _he_ was considered too, everything would have been alright.

"Alex? Are you going in?"  
"Huh?" Alex murmured, the words pulling him back to reality.

He turned his head and saw Meredith staring at him with a puzzled look.

"You needed a consult, right?" Meredith asked.  
"O-oh. Yeah, let's go," he told her.

* * *

"What's with you?" Meredith asked, taking a small bite from her granola bar.  
"What?"  
"You're daydreaming, Alex. Did something happen?"  
"No."

Meredith took another bite from her granola bar and narrowed her eyes, staring intently at Alex's face.

"What? Nothing's wrong!" he groaned, opening the bag of chips he held in his hands.  
"Oh, really? Is it another intern?" she asked, her eyebrows darting up.  
"No, no. That's not all I think about." he told her, slipping a potato chip into his mouth.

He looked over at Meredith and considered telling her. She always listened, always seemed to put some reason into his head. Perhaps she'd put him at ease, maybe tell him that he was being overly paranoid.

"Robbins is here," he told her.  
"Arizona's here?"  
"Yeah. But she hasn't told anyone. She's being fitted for a prosthetic. I was talking to Moore, y'know - her doctor.. but I managed to walk in at the wrong moment and she saw me," he explained.  
"What did she say?"  
"Not much. The prosthetic wasn't tight enough.. and she was pretty surprised to see me, so she almost fell, but I caught her. She just.. asked about the new Peds guy.. how things are holding up and all.." he continued, narrowing his eyes, as if deep in thought.  
"So she didn't talk about the crash?"  
"No, she didn't."  
"And you wanted her to."  
"No, I just wanted her to... y'know.. I don't know, see me for_ me_. Not the guy that was supposed to be on the plane, but me," he grumbled, tightening his grip on the flimsy bag of potato chips in his hand.  
"You're crushing them."  
"Huh?" he asked.  
"The chips, you just crushed them," she told him, standing up.  
"Oh." Alex said, looking into the bag in his hands.  
"And she did see you, Alex," Meredith told him, putting her lab coat back on.

He looked up at her.

"I may not know much about Arizona, but she asked about the department, didn't she? Not about the crash or why the hell you were there, or whatever. She asked about you. About the Alex Karev who works in the Peds department. Isn't that what you two were based on?" she asked him before departing the Attending's lounge.

Alex looked at the door closing behind Meredith, and in his eyes, it seemed as if he was now seeing something that he had not seen before.

* * *

Alex stood at the main desk, going through the charts from the day. Just then, the elevator opened to reveal Callie and Arizona. The latter was in a wheelchair, ready to be taken home.

Callie glanced at Alex and walked passed him, not saying anything.

She stopped near the hospital's entrance and seemed to remember something, shuffling through her bag.

"S-sorry, I didn't think Karev would be down here," she told Arizona, still digging through her bag, uneasy to meet, what she thought would be, the blonde woman's deadly gaze.  
"It's okay, I saw him earlier," she told her, staring outside the hospital's glass doors.  
"Y-you did?" Callie asked, somewhat alarmed. She stared at Arizona, who's face seemed rather relaxed, but her response was only a nod.

She quickly shifted her gaze to Alex, and narrowed her eyes. He looked back down at the charts he was filling out.

Callie sighed and dismissed the sudden revelation. Arizona didn't seem to be angry, so it didn't matter too much. She actually seemed to be in a rather relaxed mood, despite yelling at Callie only a day before.

Still shuffling through her bag, she was aware that some documents were missing.

"Oh, I forgot some files.. I'll be right back. Can you wait a bit?" Callie asked her.

"Well, I can't really go anywhere, can I?" Arizona asked her.

"..Right, well. I'll be back," she told her, rolling her wheelchair to the waiting area. She strolled off without glancing back at her.

Arizona stared at her departing profile, watching her back as she quickly paced away. As if trying to get away from her. Maybe she should have replied less bitterly, she thought. Her jokes were never very funny to Callie.

Alex watched Callie walked away and then shifted his glance to Arizona, who seemed to be in a trance.

He walked up to her.

"Hey."  
"Hey," Arizona said, looking up at him.

Alex placed his arms on his hips, an inquiring pose, Arizona thought. She hadn't seen him in such a long time. Not since he caught her before she fell. And that was the first time since the aftermath of the plane crash. She tried to put the memories behind her, but she couldn't help but feel regret for what she said that day.

"So.. How'd it go?" he asked her. He seemed genuinely concerned, speaking slowly, attentive to every word that escaped from his lips.

She smiled at his verbal caution, and recalled the events that happened not so long ago.

"Great. I think I'm getting there," she told him.

_She's smiling_, Alex thought. Actually smiling. He hadn't seen her smile in so long, it seemed. Weeks, months - it didn't occur to him until now that he had missed her smile.

He didn't know what had happened, but he thought that maybe, just _maybe_ - she considered his words. That Callie was trying too.

But he was trying too. He'd always try. If he could see a smile like that - and be reminded of the woman that had mended him - even if she didn't consider him, he'd try.

No, not try. He'd do. He'd do it. He always would, he thought. As long as she considered him, just as he thought she had done earlier.

"You know, you can call me anytime," he told her.

She glanced up at him, catching his gaze.

"When you're falling, I mean. You can call me."  
"Alex-"  
"I'll catch you if you need me to. So just call my name, and I'll come running."

He smiled then, trying to communicate something intangible through the hard gaze that lingered. He wanted to catch her, just like she had caught him so many times before. She repaired something broken inside of him - something he could never quite put into words. She was his mentor, though they were so fundamentally different. But he reminded her of herself.

She closed her eyes, trying to summon words to describe the relief that his own words gave her. _Someone to catch her_. Though she tried to chase everyone away, there were still people there to catch her. He reminded her that she always had Callie - that though she was trying, so too, was her wife. And so was he. She opened her eyes then, and smiled warmly at him.

"I will."


End file.
